In case I gave the impression in my last post that I regularly submit to the voice of the Spirit and not my flesh - my husband can attest to the fact that that is definitely not the case. Actually, on the very day that I chose to listen to the Spirit and stop writing for a time - I also chose to listen to the flesh and say one of the most cruel things I have ever said to my husband. It hurt. It hurt him and it hurt me. And in a way I think it proves the point of my last post profoundly. If I had listened to the Spirit and not gotten angrily defensive, how much lighter the burden would have been - for both of us. The incredibly challenging part of "being crucified in Christ" and "dying to ourselves" is the choice in itself. The giving up of what we want in a particular moment. The results, however, of listening to the Spirit instead of the flesh are so much easier and lighter. So much better. He knows what we need more than we do. Just as I know that letting my children eat all of their Halloween candy in one night, as much as they would like that, would bring much more harm than good, so He knows that screaming what I am feeling in a particular moment will have devastating results. I will never be able to take back what I said to my husband last night.
Now, for the good news. Here is when I get to "proclaim His name" and "tell of His wonderful acts" (Psalm 105:2).
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning!!!!!! (emphasis mine).
As much as my words hurt my husband, as sorry as I am that I said them and for how incredibly sinful I was in that moment last night - I am forgiven. I am loved. And I know it.
This is what Christianity is about. It has nothing to do with me being better than anyone else. It has everything to do with the incredible love and forgiveness I am able to experience (though I don't always take Him up on it) on a daily basis.
Praise God, He is going to continue to work on those of us who let Him.
Phillippians 1:6 says "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
And hopefully as I mature in my walk with Him I will learn how to hear his voice, listen to His Spirit instead of my flesh, and bask in His incredible, grace-full love. And perhaps, I will make less incredibly hurtful (to others and myself) sinful, prideful, defensive mistakes.
On this side of heaven, it will always be a battle, though I do believe it gets easier as we live more for Him and less for ourselves. But, Oh how wonderful it will be when there is no longer a battle and He fulfills his promise to us -
"He who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:16-17
Not only will he wipe away our tears, but he'll wipe away the tears we are responsible for. We will experience peace, delight, and rest. What a wonderful day that will be.
Now, for the good news. Here is when I get to "proclaim His name" and "tell of His wonderful acts" (Psalm 105:2).
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning!!!!!! (emphasis mine).
As much as my words hurt my husband, as sorry as I am that I said them and for how incredibly sinful I was in that moment last night - I am forgiven. I am loved. And I know it.
This is what Christianity is about. It has nothing to do with me being better than anyone else. It has everything to do with the incredible love and forgiveness I am able to experience (though I don't always take Him up on it) on a daily basis.
Praise God, He is going to continue to work on those of us who let Him.
Phillippians 1:6 says "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
And hopefully as I mature in my walk with Him I will learn how to hear his voice, listen to His Spirit instead of my flesh, and bask in His incredible, grace-full love. And perhaps, I will make less incredibly hurtful (to others and myself) sinful, prideful, defensive mistakes.
On this side of heaven, it will always be a battle, though I do believe it gets easier as we live more for Him and less for ourselves. But, Oh how wonderful it will be when there is no longer a battle and He fulfills his promise to us -
"He who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:16-17
Not only will he wipe away our tears, but he'll wipe away the tears we are responsible for. We will experience peace, delight, and rest. What a wonderful day that will be.
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